WEBVTT 00:00:02.297 --> 00:00:03.516 Hey, you voyeurs! 00:00:03.561 --> 00:00:06.546 Now for another storytime… 00:00:06.617 --> 00:00:10.238 And so I threw up my whole Christmas dinner. 00:00:11.521 --> 00:00:15.583 And as for my Christmas dinner, I threw the whole thing up. 00:00:15.657 --> 00:00:16.860 STORYTIME 00:00:23.530 --> 00:00:27.720 I mostly wanted to show you all some of my old phones 00:00:27.813 --> 00:00:30.930 that I dug out of my collection. 00:00:30.993 --> 00:00:35.509 They don't make these kinds of designs anymore, and they never will again. 00:00:35.603 --> 00:00:39.902 It's awful, but we just love it. 00:00:39.972 --> 00:00:42.877 We think it's cool, we think it's hip. 00:00:43.057 --> 00:00:44.948 You could even take out the batt— 00:00:45.023 --> 00:00:52.188 This brilliant Alcatel with the taped-up antenna just wouldn't fly today. 00:00:52.282 --> 00:00:56.415 You don't just fix your phone with tape now. This is just great. 00:00:56.544 --> 00:01:01.424 And here we have a true classic, the Nokia 3310. 00:01:01.955 --> 00:01:04.359 This is great, and — 00:01:04.412 --> 00:01:07.116 And this phone was actually never sold in stores, 00:01:07.163 --> 00:01:11.045 which means I might be the only person in the Czech Republic who has one. 00:01:11.132 --> 00:01:17.156 I've decided to share some of my old photos from this phone with you guys. 00:01:17.286 --> 00:01:19.614 So, let's go. 00:01:19.668 --> 00:01:24.036 A memory card — unthinkable with today's iPhones. 00:01:24.088 --> 00:01:27.244 Around 2008… 00:01:28.734 --> 00:01:32.984 So, it was 2008 or something like that. 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:34.734 Flips open nicely. 00:01:34.944 --> 00:01:39.822 It takes ages to… 00:01:40.283 --> 00:01:45.690 I can't remember the last time I had to wait five seconds for a picture to load. 00:01:46.961 --> 00:01:50.808 So this was my wallpaper almost the entire time. 00:01:50.923 --> 00:01:53.938 I thought the picture was totally cool. 00:01:54.041 --> 00:01:57.838 Resolution: 240 by 180. HA! 00:01:57.879 --> 00:02:04.808 Snowboarding… that was super cool too. Snowboards, skateboards… 00:02:04.922 --> 00:02:09.008 Let's see what'll happen. YEAH! I'm going online! 00:02:09.110 --> 00:02:11.680 This is great, but it won't work, will it? 00:02:11.746 --> 00:02:13.793 End of history. Heh… 00:02:14.765 --> 00:02:16.828 Let's see what we have next… 00:02:16.925 --> 00:02:20.494 This one's a hit that I'm sure everyone remembers… 00:02:24.839 --> 00:02:28.160 -Will you take care of little Bobby for me? -Bobby. 00:02:30.075 --> 00:02:31.382 Bobby. 00:02:33.076 --> 00:02:35.569 So fucking stupid… 00:02:35.735 --> 00:02:38.276 I don't have a bucket. 00:02:38.334 --> 00:02:41.146 I wish I had a little bucket! 00:02:45.090 --> 00:02:47.622 Today let's talk about motivation. 00:02:47.716 --> 00:02:51.977 How about you? What's your motivation? Why do you go to school? 00:02:52.138 --> 00:02:56.177 Um, I like it, and I have friends here. 00:02:58.548 --> 00:02:59.556 Look... 00:02:59.605 --> 00:03:00.532 Majda! 00:03:00.571 --> 00:03:03.232 Look at yourself. Do you see that? 00:03:03.376 --> 00:03:05.871 Yeah, I see, but that's from yesterday, isn't it? 00:03:05.926 --> 00:03:09.412 That's now! It's recording right now! 00:03:09.467 --> 00:03:10.295 Now you see? 00:03:13.354 --> 00:03:15.073 Jesus… 00:03:16.088 --> 00:03:18.175 I'd completely forgot about that. 00:03:18.219 --> 00:03:23.209 That's in Motol, where I roomed with those girls. 00:03:23.303 --> 00:03:27.216 That was kind of our little crew there. 00:03:27.861 --> 00:03:31.072 We always interacted and communicated with each other. 00:03:31.978 --> 00:03:37.805 I think it's quite a bit different than if we had been adults because — 00:03:37.953 --> 00:03:43.582 The only children's psychiatric clinic in Prague that deals with these sorts of things. 00:03:45.203 --> 00:03:52.562 Ok, so let's have a look at a few more things in this fantastic phone. 00:03:52.658 --> 00:03:56.374 I have lots more photos and videos. 00:03:56.513 --> 00:03:59.722 {\an8}This is a message for future generations: 00:03:59.816 --> 00:04:03.811 {\an8}I am so stoned right now, it's unbelievable. 00:04:08.786 --> 00:04:12.518 I can't condemn smoking weed because it helped me. I have to give it that. 00:04:12.667 --> 00:04:16.442 Both because it gave me the munchies and because… 00:04:16.768 --> 00:04:21.440 I could just switch off a little bit and not worry or overthink things. 00:04:22.447 --> 00:04:24.907 I simply started eating more. 00:04:25.272 --> 00:04:29.975 For example, these pugs. It was a surreal situation because… 00:04:30.105 --> 00:04:34.265 And these pugs, that was a totally surreal situ— 00:04:34.334 --> 00:04:39.011 I was getting ready for my art school entrance exams and preparing my portfolio. 00:04:39.204 --> 00:04:44.577 I was painting these pugs from one of the posters on my wall. 00:04:44.655 --> 00:04:48.789 Skin and bones, completely exhausted, I wasn't sleeping or eating. 00:04:48.859 --> 00:04:55.054 I painted secretly at night so my mom wouldn't see because I was supposed to be sleeping. 00:04:55.414 --> 00:04:58.343 One time somehow she heard me. I was up pain— 00:04:58.450 --> 00:05:00.384 She asked what was going on. 00:05:00.775 --> 00:05:07.200 By that point I was pretty tragic, even apathetic. I didn't care, so I just told her everything. 00:05:07.562 --> 00:05:09.124 And, well… 00:05:09.650 --> 00:05:14.570 This phone has a front camera, which wasn't very usual back then. 00:05:14.930 --> 00:05:19.619 And it could take selfies. 00:05:19.777 --> 00:05:22.004 She didn't even notice it. 00:05:22.074 --> 00:05:24.199 She said, "That's yesterday!" 00:05:24.258 --> 00:05:28.045 She didn't even realize it was possible. 00:05:28.108 --> 00:05:33.368 She was surprised to see herself on the screen. 00:05:33.447 --> 00:05:36.635 29 April, 2008… 00:05:37.119 --> 00:05:40.740 19:14 — They had probably just given us our phones 00:05:40.855 --> 00:05:46.487 because they only let us use our phones on Tuesday and Thursday for one hour. 00:05:46.513 --> 00:05:51.572 They didn't want us to have contact with the outside 00:05:51.641 --> 00:05:55.075 so that we would focus on our treatment. 00:05:55.249 --> 00:06:03.950 Being able to have a phone — your own phone — for only two hours a week is just… insane. 00:06:05.413 --> 00:06:13.031 It's strange that psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists all work there together. 00:06:13.186 --> 00:06:16.694 The "treatment" there was just… 00:06:21.247 --> 00:06:22.429 I don't know… 00:06:22.495 --> 00:06:24.906 We each had our own doctor, and… 00:06:25.161 --> 00:06:28.944 He was really impatient when I didn't get better. 00:06:29.174 --> 00:06:34.982 He said, "I don't know what you're even worried about. You've got a totally sexy figure." 00:06:37.144 --> 00:06:40.509 A little… unprofessional. 00:06:40.611 --> 00:06:43.556 The Siemens X, which — 00:06:43.612 --> 00:06:45.822 There was a huge advertising campaign. 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:49.492 The word "SEXY," but in place of the X they used this pho— 00:06:49.592 --> 00:06:52.241 So, let's continue. 00:06:52.266 --> 00:06:53.673 Here we have — 00:06:59.379 --> 00:07:00.916 It was probably 2009. 00:07:00.946 --> 00:07:05.026 I was at the care centre, which is actually where I finished my primary school 00:07:05.111 --> 00:07:10.870 because after I went back to my original primary school… 00:07:14.370 --> 00:07:18.878 And how is it possible that today's 15-year-olds look so different? 00:07:18.925 --> 00:07:20.893 Yeah, and here — 00:07:20.992 --> 00:07:27.620 Yeah, and here for a while they were giving me some prescription dru— 00:07:27.698 --> 00:07:34.110 I couldn't think of anything better than to just pop them all at once and wash them down with beer. 00:07:34.174 --> 00:07:35.463 I was wasted. 00:07:35.521 --> 00:07:37.431 But then, of course, afterward — 00:07:37.465 --> 00:07:39.976 —teenth of March, 2008. 00:07:40.073 --> 00:07:45.752 That was a couple days after the birthday I celebrated there in Motol, my fifteenth. 00:07:45.887 --> 00:07:49.201 ♪ My fifteenth birthday is finally coming soon… ♪ 00:07:49.279 --> 00:07:55.459 In that ward, where there were about ten girls, three of us were born on —teenth of March. 00:07:55.538 --> 00:07:58.991 Coincidence? I don't think so. 00:07:59.309 --> 00:08:01.002 And so… 00:08:01.355 --> 00:08:03.135 One of those girls, who… 00:08:03.783 --> 00:08:05.278 who had it really bad, 00:08:05.380 --> 00:08:09.115 was about 190 centimetres tall 00:08:09.905 --> 00:08:12.108 and weighed almost nothing. 00:08:12.516 --> 00:08:15.696 She had to stay in bed. She had to have an IV. 00:08:15.938 --> 00:08:17.860 They were really afraid she'd die. 00:08:17.948 --> 00:08:22.004 This is some girl I don't remember at — 00:08:22.059 --> 00:08:23.645 Eliška! 00:08:23.923 --> 00:08:25.354 I don't know… 00:08:26.732 --> 00:08:28.259 What is this? 00:08:30.203 --> 00:08:31.456 Oh, ok. 00:08:31.566 --> 00:08:33.195 I took a picture of my hip… 00:08:33.231 --> 00:08:39.012 The only thing left of me back then was that nose. Huge teeth and a huge nose, but otherwise compl— 00:08:41.415 --> 00:08:44.267 It was Christmas, which means — 00:08:44.346 --> 00:08:47.254 It was Christmas, and there were some sweets. 00:08:47.371 --> 00:08:50.501 Actually, I tricked myself. 00:08:50.593 --> 00:08:55.650 It was a win-win because the others thought that I was eating normally 00:08:56.125 --> 00:09:02.289 even though I just put them in my mouth, chewed them up, and then spit them out somewhere. 00:09:02.486 --> 00:09:05.639 But in front of the others, everything looked fine. 00:09:05.714 --> 00:09:13.550 Of course I absorbed a little through my saliva, but it didn't go to my stomach, so I was happy. 00:09:13.700 --> 00:09:15.590 Interacting with these people… 00:09:15.839 --> 00:09:21.576 I was actually usually kind of a loner, but not there, because it's a gang. 00:09:21.662 --> 00:09:23.762 There's a kind of hierarchy. 00:09:23.829 --> 00:09:25.712 We weren't all equal. 00:09:26.602 --> 00:09:28.428 There you have to… 00:09:30.347 --> 00:09:33.207 For six whole months, I had eaten basically nothing. 00:09:33.283 --> 00:09:35.556 They started to really get after me. 00:09:35.630 --> 00:09:39.944 Ok, so in the beginning they gave me a half of a half portion, 00:09:40.012 --> 00:09:45.240 but even that was way too much, because a whole portion was seven dumplings. 00:09:45.294 --> 00:09:51.820 That's a lot. Because if you go to a restaurant and ask for extra dumplings, you'll get six. 00:09:51.975 --> 00:09:53.811 And here we had seven. 00:09:54.043 --> 00:09:56.378 Seven dumplings, like in Sarajevo… 00:10:00.169 --> 00:10:05.185 We'd put heavy things in our pockets, but then we had to weigh ourselves completely naked. 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:10.266 — tips that we should drink a lot beforehand so we'd weigh as much as possible. 00:10:10.353 --> 00:10:13.708 So we just extended the time that we had to be there. 00:10:13.786 --> 00:10:17.574 Or we'd throw food on the ground under the table. 00:10:18.371 --> 00:10:23.968 We'd throw it on other patients' plates, just so it wouldn't be on ours. 00:10:24.209 --> 00:10:26.803 Some of them would rat us out, some wouldn't. 00:10:27.494 --> 00:10:31.056 One fellow anorexic ratted me out. 00:10:31.570 --> 00:10:35.634 Every day after lunch, they closed and locked the WC for one hour 00:10:36.142 --> 00:10:38.618 so that we anorexics wouldn't go throw up. 00:10:38.776 --> 00:10:45.653 They would unlock it, but we couldn't flush, and they would make sure we hadn't thrown up. 00:10:45.858 --> 00:10:48.055 Anyway, what's next? 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:49.620 A little happy… 00:10:50.671 --> 00:10:52.171 …stick out your chin… 00:10:52.452 --> 00:10:53.960 …pout your lips… 00:10:54.767 --> 00:10:56.509 …and close your eyes a little. 00:10:58.142 --> 00:11:02.197 How to make a sexy face… 00:11:02.608 --> 00:11:08.130 There were no mirrors there, so that we wouldn't look at ourselves or compare ourselves. 00:11:08.172 --> 00:11:11.899 The first month I didn't even notice that my eyebrows had grown out a lot 00:11:11.970 --> 00:11:16.774 because I suddenly had to eat so much, compared to almost nothing before that. 00:11:16.825 --> 00:11:19.935 I had to beg them to lend me some tweezers 00:11:20.614 --> 00:11:24.660 because they were a sharp object that we weren't allowed to have. 00:11:25.715 --> 00:11:31.572 We all had some common traits — rituals — habits. 00:11:31.727 --> 00:11:33.133 A weak voice. 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:34.514 We always stood. 00:11:34.671 --> 00:11:36.046 Walking around the table. 00:11:36.125 --> 00:11:38.766 Hands cupped together, like this. 00:11:38.807 --> 00:11:40.253 Wandering the corridors — 00:11:40.307 --> 00:11:41.135 — doing crosswords — 00:11:41.160 --> 00:11:41.973 — cavalier — 00:11:41.998 --> 00:11:43.371 — we were simply absent — 00:11:43.403 --> 00:11:43.903 — out of it — 00:11:43.934 --> 00:11:44.801 — no strength — 00:11:44.850 --> 00:11:46.628 — a form of self-harm — 00:11:46.667 --> 00:11:50.073 — it's not necessarily a desire to be a model or something — 00:11:50.175 --> 00:11:53.508 — even just the way we picked things up — 00:11:53.555 --> 00:11:54.956 — with our tiny fingers — 00:11:54.996 --> 00:11:56.449 — scooped up a little — 00:11:56.511 --> 00:11:58.406 — I actually wanted to starve to death — 00:11:58.469 --> 00:12:00.017 — obsessively meticulous — 00:12:00.303 --> 00:12:03.068 For example, we were always putting on makeup. 00:12:04.816 --> 00:12:06.589 We just — 00:12:06.648 --> 00:12:07.862 — for no reason — 00:12:07.887 --> 00:12:08.644 — obsessively — 00:12:08.669 --> 00:12:10.763 — took perfectionistic care — 00:12:10.813 --> 00:12:11.735 — of our appearance. 00:12:15.067 --> 00:12:21.642 We purposely circled the table to walk off all the food we had to force into ourselves. 00:12:21.699 --> 00:12:23.149 Lastly, though we — 00:12:23.188 --> 00:12:26.168 — not always, but it's a common occurence — 00:12:26.239 --> 00:12:28.348 — hoarding things — 00:12:28.386 --> 00:12:30.873 — I hoarded things way, way more than — 00:12:30.952 --> 00:12:32.908 — one of the doctors there said it — 00:12:32.978 --> 00:12:35.994 — I could take this kind of cymbal — 00:12:36.116 --> 00:12:37.217 And she said… 00:12:37.334 --> 00:12:39.592 "Yeah, these anorexics, they're always collecting." 00:12:39.643 --> 00:12:42.431 Obsession with staying young. 00:12:42.556 --> 00:12:46.314 You're really going to eat portions like a five-year-old? 00:12:46.457 --> 00:12:48.738 And that globe… 00:12:49.956 --> 00:12:53.793 The graphics were so bad, you couldn't… 00:12:54.724 --> 00:12:57.060 Hey, cunt, you stink like a pig! 00:13:00.509 --> 00:13:02.048 Otherwise I'm completely normal. 00:13:02.855 --> 00:13:06.240 Resolution: 176 by 132. 00:13:06.325 --> 00:13:11.523 It's really hard to kind of keep it together at home. 00:13:11.836 --> 00:13:18.664 So, looking back, I am glad that I went there because — 00:13:19.006 --> 00:13:20.609 See you next time.

Magdaléna Kašparová